The Grand Tour
Now radical is also about football. Don’t worry, only indirectly. I am primarily interested in football as a social phenomenon, these forms of mass hysteria and their effects, and the ways in which they can manifest themselves. For decades, I have been attending matches all over the world, in large stadiums but also in provincial theatres. I don’t (usually) care who is playing or who wins, but I love the atmosphere, the choreography of organised noise, these often inexplicable expressions of love and hate, this opium for the people. The year before last, I was able to get my son excited about it, first in Milan, San Siro, which was great; this year I tried the same with my daughter. Sure, she said, I’d love to – but we’re not flying. I swallowed hard for a moment, because my plan was: Napoli vs Chelsea, Champions League. Then I thought: we could do a (small) grand tour, approaching slowly, via Bologna, Florence, Rome, eating well everywhere, then somehow back, more through the countryside. The means of transport was clear, the new favourite, perfect for such short distances. But then life intervened: our son had another meeting on Tuesday morning and had to be back at work on Friday morning; Volvo gave me the brand new ES90 at short notice. So the grand tour turned into more of a quickie.
Because it’s not (just) about football, here are a few important facts about the Volvo ES90. As a Single Motor Extended Range, the Swedish car, which is exactly 5 metres long and weighs 2.4 tonnes, has 333 hp and 480 Nm of maximum torque, a 92 kWh battery, for which a WLTP range of 638 kilometres is specified; it can be charged at a maximum of 350 kW. Good conditions, then, for a journey from the Emmental via Bologna to Naples, a total of around 1,200 kilometres one way. It got off to an easy start, with the trip planner suggesting charging in Fidenza after around 450 kilometres, which the three of us in the car (plus light luggage) managed without any problems, despite sub-zero temperatures and the heating and seat heating being on, and despite loud music (the junior member of the family chose the music). There was a 300 kW charger there, and at the start the Volvo immediately sucked in 297 kW. After a short walk and a coffee, we continued on to Bologna after 30 minutes, where we spent the night. A wonderful city, completely underrated, with great food.
The next morning, we set off with about 60 per cent SOC. According to the Volvo planner, we headed to Florence (unfortunately) to a supercharger of the brand that we may mention again here soon (because the products are anything but bad). It only charged at a modest 70 kW – the local X driver said that the system couldn’t manage any more. So we changed our plans, adding one more stopover, this time in Rome, with a 300 kW charger that reached a maximum of 200 kW, then near Naples airport, where we picked up M., a true football connoisseur, and charged up to almost 100 per cent again in preparation for the return journey. The first attempt went completely wrong, as you can see in the picture below. Next stop, charging again at over 200 kW, everything fine, everything easy, clean timing.
The Volvo ES90. Even in its simplest form, a very, very fine car. Unbelievable, this quietness. Very, very good comfort, definitely on a par with the S-Class. Fantastic space, especially in the back (no wonder, with a wheelbase of more than 3.1 metres), plus a huge boot. There is also leather and some form of wood (the victory of customers over reason), but otherwise the interior is extremely minimalist, with a very large display in the middle, foolproof operation and a magnificent sound system. The rear right seat is probably the right place to sit, as being driven somehow suits this large saloon car (which isn’t really a saloon at all, because the Volvo has a tailgate that is as huge as its glass roof). Do you need it? Yes and no. Do you want it? Yes and no.
The Swede definitely doesn’t fit in the Quartieri Spagnoli in Naples. There, you drive a scooter or, at most, a Smart car, because it’s very narrow. But once again, I didn’t check exactly where our AirB&B is, so we’re much more in the middle of it all than completely off the mark, honking the horn five times until we’re around the corner – and we don’t even bother looking for some made-up parking space, we just end up putting the thing in a car park for a lot of money.
Then a first beer, then a second, then off to the legendary pizzeria. It takes a little longer than planned, but two minutes before kick-off we’re at Diego Armando Maradona’s stadium, named after him. In Naples, Diegito is everywhere. Goodness, it’s been around 40 years, but the Argentine is still revered as a saint in Naples. You could almost cry a little (quietly), it’s one of the most beautiful forms of respect I’ve ever seen. The place is packed, there’s a lot of singing, it’s wonderfully peaceful – and even though the not particularly good game is lost 2-3, there’s a cheerful standing ovation at the end. That’s what makes it fun.
So back we go, 1153 kilometres. Now four people with luggage, slightly warmer temperatures, starting at 88 per cent. First charging station somewhere in the middle of nowhere, 700 metres from the motorway exit, 8 plugs with 300 kW that look like they’ve never been used. But the Volvo draws 270 kW again (at the start), a short walk to the nearest bar, caffè, back again, at 70 per cent SOC it’s still 150 kW, only at 80 per cent does it fall below 100. Moving on, Junior has taken the wheel, he’s driving too fast (oh, these young people), after Florence we have to admit that we probably won’t make it to Bologna, so new plan (the Volvo is no help at all, it’s completely overwhelmed). But even on Google Maps it’s difficult. There’s supposed to be another supercharger of the unnamed brand at a large outlet in Barberino, but just behind the motorway exit there are a few 300 kW charging stations that aren’t listed on any of my (many) apps. What’s more, there’s also a good restaurant there, so we unexpectedly get to enjoy a more than decent lunch. When we set off again, the Volvo is almost full, easily makes it to Ticino, refuels once more – and almost exactly 12 hours after setting off from Naples, we’re back home.
An average speed of almost 100 km/h is not bad at all. A consumption of 22.6 kWh/100 km in these conditions (lots of rain) can be described as excellent. We probably didn’t save much money by charging instead of refuelling (my favourite would probably have managed it with an average of about 7 litres), but I’ll have to wait for the bills to be settled; but it was definitely more environmentally friendly. The Volvo was thoroughly impressive with its wonderful quietness, high level of comfort, very generous space and mostly good route planning (there’s still room for improvement…). But that’s to be expected from a vehicle that costs 73,700 Swiss francs in its basic version (test car: 85,700 Swiss francs). Next football destination, by the way: Marseille.
More electricity? Zero. Everything else: archive. Oh yes, there are more pictures of the Volvo on our new Insta channel: Charging Tristesse.
The part where the ES90 handled roughly 450 km before the first charge, even in sub-zero weather with heating on, was a concrete and useful real-world detail.
I liked how honest the trip notes felt, it sounded like a real family run, not a lab test. Did charging reliability vary a lot by station quality